A narcissistic person is someone who shows excessive self-focus, a strong need for attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy toward others.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is present in both men and women. In the USA, around 7.7% of males and 4.8% of females in the general population experience narcissistic traits. While research shows some tendencies may appear differently across individuals, these variations are not limited to one gender. Some people may express narcissism through entitlement, lack of empathy, fantasies of power, or a desire to appear superior, while others may show it through sensitivity, appearance-focused behavior, or seeking attention in social settings.
Whether you’re trying to understand your own patterns or understand the behavior of a partner, friend, or coworker, recognizing the signs, causes, and impacts of narcissism can help you protect your mental well-being, set healthy boundaries, and know when to seek professional support.
What’s Narcissism?
Narcissism is a psychological pattern in which a person consistently overlooks or dismisses the needs and feelings of those around them. While anyone can occasionally show narcissistic behaviors, true narcissism involves repeated patterns of dominance, ego-driven actions, and disregard for others.
Narcissism itself is a trait found on a spectrum within Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Not every person with narcissistic traits has NPD. Occasional tendencies—like bragging or wanting control at times—can be normal, but NPD is different because the symptoms are more intense, long-lasting, and appear across many areas of life.
Regardless of where someone falls on the spectrum, narcissism and NPD are not personality flaws; they are mental health conditions that can be understood and managed with proper support.
What’s a Narcissistic Person?
Individuals with narcissistic traits often show a strong level of self-obsession, a continuous need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Such individuals may initially appear very charming and appealing, but this charm is often superficial.
We’ll discuss the traits you can use to spot narcissistic behavior, but because people with these traits are often hypersensitive to criticism, they may respond negatively when they feel challenged. These patterns can strongly affect their relationships, as their high self-focus (I, me, myself) and emotional reactivity make it difficult to maintain healthy, stable connections.
Narcissistic Traits
Here are 10 common signs you can use to identify narcissistic behavior in a person.
Self-Centered
It’s one of the most obvious signs of narcissism. A narcissistic person often talks excessively about themselves, their life, and their problems, and rarely considers how others are feeling. Even if friends or family share something important, they may show little interest and quickly shift the conversation back to themselves. In some cases, a narcissistic female may use this pattern to maintain attention and control in social settings.
Never Admitting Mistakes
Individuals with narcissistic traits struggle to admit when they’re wrong. They may shift blame, make excuses, or reshape the situation to avoid accountability. A female narcissist, like any narcissistic person, may redirect responsibility onto others rather than acknowledging her own role in the conflict.
Frequent Envy
Narcissistic people often feel jealous of others’ success and may even believe others are envious of them. They may belittle or downplay achievements around them. For example, if you tell a narcissistic person that you bought a new car, they may respond with disinterest or diminish its value.
Obsession With Social Status
Superficiality and preoccupation with status symbols are common narcissistic behaviors. This can include materialism, brand fixation, or excessive concern with reputation. A narcissistic individual—whether male or female—may constantly talk about their social image, financial standing, or the lifestyle they believe they deserve.
Addicted to Social Media
Many people with narcissistic traits seek validation, and social media often becomes a key source. They may post frequent selfies, monitor likes and comments obsessively, and rely heavily on external approval. A narcissistic female, in particular, might connect her self-worth with how others perceive her online presence.
Exploiting Others
Narcissistic individuals may manipulate or use others for personal gain, validation, or emotional satisfaction. They typically prioritize their own needs without considering how their actions impact others. This pattern can appear in both men and women.
Obsessed With Physical Appearance
Some individuals—especially narcissistic females—may focus intensely on physical appearance. This can include excessive shopping, cosmetic procedures, restrictive dieting, or a general obsession with looking “the best in the room.” Their self-image can heavily depend on how others view their looks.
Mean Girl Behavior
While some narcissistic men display direct or overt aggression, narcissistic females often express relational aggression—backbiting, gossiping, spreading rumors, silent treatment, or social exclusion. These actions can disrupt personal and professional relationships. Even after causing harm, a narcissistic female may play the victim and avoid taking responsibility.
Sensitive and Reactive:
Women with narcissistic traits tend to be highly emotional, which often makes them extremely sensitive and reactive. They struggle with criticism, fear failure, and prefer staying within their comfort zone to avoid challenges or rejection. Because of this heightened sensitivity, they get hurt or offended easily and may lash out or completely withdraw when they feel wounded, rather than responding with empathy or self-reflection.
Instability in Work, Life, and Relationships:
Their behavior patterns — oversensitivity, jealousy, self-absorption, and manipulation — can create significant instability in both personal and professional areas. Maintaining friendships, managing finances, building healthy relationships, or progressing in their career becomes difficult. When life becomes unstable or they experience setbacks, the resulting emptiness or sense of failure tends to intensify their narcissistic tendencies even further.
Signs of Covert Narcissism
In this type of narcissism, females usually feel like their friends, family, or partner owes them.
Common patterns include:
- Feeling they deserve payback and often experiencing sadness or resentment
- Believing others are superior and seeking constant validation
- Playing the victim in conflicts
- Being hypersensitive to criticism
- Having low self-esteem and showing dependency in relationships
While dealing with narcissistic individuals can be challenging, if you are evaluating your own behavior, remember you are not alone. Narcissism is manageable through therapy and behavioral strategies. Call our helpline if you need support.
What Causes Narcissism?
The causes of narcissism are not yet fully understood. Like other mental health conditions, it is often linked to:
- Family environment or upbringing
- Being raised to believe one is extraordinary and always deserves the best
- Childhood trauma or neglect
- Lack of consistent love or emotional support
There is no specific gene that causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD); it develops largely through environmental factors and upbringing rather than being present at birth.
How to Deal With a Female Narcissist?
Dealing with a female narcissist is hard. Here are some compassionate yet practical ways to deal with them without compromising your own mental health:
Educate Yourself: Learn about narcissism and understand the patterns of a narcissistic female or narcissistic individual. Recognize that they may be struggling internally, and approach interactions with patience that does not compromise your own mental or emotional health.
Build Your Self-Esteem: Narcissists often target vulnerabilities. Strengthening your self-esteem helps you handle negativity calmly and assertively.
Practice Self-Care: Engage in self-talk, journaling, meditation, or other self-care routines to maintain emotional balance.
Advocate for Yourself: While silence can sometimes help, it’s important to assert your boundaries. Show your limits clearly so others understand what behavior is unacceptable.
Set Clear Boundaries: Even if a narcissistic female does not fully respect them, establishing boundaries protects your mental well-being and signals that you value yourself.
Stay Calm in Unavoidable Relationships: If the relationship is unavoidable — for example, a family member, partner, or coworker — practice calming techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, meditation, journaling, or prayer. Release negative emotions rather than holding them inside.
Find a Support System: Connect with friends, join clubs, volunteer, or pursue hobbies. A strong support system strengthens resilience and emotional health.
Be Mindful of Promises: Narcissistic individuals, including female narcissists, may make empty promises to avoid confrontation. Focus on immediate actions and observable behavioral changes rather than relying solely on words.
Encourage Professional Help: Avoid hatred. Most narcissistic individuals are not intentionally harmful but are struggling mentally. Encourage therapy or professional guidance with compassion.
Know When to Move On: If their behavior is harming your mental, emotional, or physical well-being and they refuse help, recognize when it’s time to step away for your own safety.
If you fear any harm from another person, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 to get shelter across the United States.
Is Narcissism Curable?
Yes, narcissism is manageable with talk therapy, also known as psychotherapy, and medications if required for the underlying cause of depression, anxiety, or other conditions. There is no specific medicine for NBP.
Psychotherapy helps you regain control of your life, build healthy relationships once again, and be successful in your professional life.
Psychotherapy helps you to overcome narcissism in the following ways:
- It helps you to break barriers or unrealistic expectations and accept yourself the way you are.
- It improves your self-image and builds self-confidence and self-esteem.
- It helps you to communicate better and improve your relationships with your loved ones
- It helps you understand the root causes of your narcissistic approach, what triggers it, and why you dislike others or sometimes yourself
- It helps you to understand your potential and accept criticism, challenges, and failures
- It helps you develop emotional intelligence
- It helps you to set realistic goals with practical steps to achieve success
Therapy can be short-term to help you manage stress, or it can be provided on a long-term basis until you fully achieve your goals. If your relationship has been affected because of narcissism, couples psychotherapy may help.
Conclusion
Narcissistic individuals, including female narcissists, are often self-absorbed, manipulative, and sometimes mean in their interactions. They may struggle to maintain stable personal, professional, and family relationships and often deflect responsibility onto others. However, most of the time, these behaviors are not intentional—they stem from underlying mental and emotional challenges. Encouraging them to seek psychological help can guide them out of these patterns, helping them live with greater confidence, peace, and empathy.
Lastly, Digipsych offers online telepsychiatry services for narcissistic behavior. Our expert psychiatrist, Dr Hussain, will help you understand the root cause of your behavior and how to change it step by step, how to reset your life and correct your relationships, ultimately helping you to overcome narcissism and start living with emotional intelligence.
If you or your loved ones need help, don’t hesitate to reach us. Our compassionate care and non-judgmental approach make you comfortable to share your struggles that too from the comfort of your home, according to your ease.
FAQs:
What does a female narcissist look like?
A female narcissist apparently looks charming and adorable. But on the other side, she is self-obsessed and doesn’t have the strength to bear criticism or correct herself when wrong. She always needs attention and validation, and she only expresses her true personality after some time, not at the beginning of a relationship.
How to spot a narcissistic woman?
If a woman loves to talk about herself, her life, her problems, and doesn’t care about what you feel, or never gives you a chance to express yourself. she never accepts her mistake and always puts the responsibility of being wrong on others’ shoulders. If she always needs validation, has low self-esteem, fears failure and rejection, gets jealous of others, manipulates, and puts others in trouble for her pleasure, she is probably a narcissist. But still, sometimes it’s just temporary, and there could be some underlying cause for it. We can’t label someone narcissistic for one-time behavior, but definite repetitive patterns for long-term falls the person into the category of narcissist.
Can a woman be a narcissist?
Yes, a woman can be a narcissist. But the tendency of narcissism is more in men (7.7%) than in women (4.8%).